× More fun than owning a deerhound? Surely not!

Doggy humour

  • houndy
  • houndy's Avatar
  • Visitor
  • Visitor
9 years 5 months ago #19925 by houndy
houndy replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
Brilliant :laugh: That also made me giggle and I haven't had any gins :)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 5 months ago #20021 by Brodie
Brodie replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
Banned from the co-op

Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my Deerhounds and was in the checkout queue when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, on impulse I told her that . . . .
no, I didn't have a dog, I was infact starting the Purina Diet myself again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. I also informed her that the food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

I must say that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no that was not the case, I ended up in hospital because I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's bum and was hit by a car.

I thought the guy on the checkout was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Co-op. :P

Wigster n San x

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • houndy
  • houndy's Avatar
  • Visitor
  • Visitor
9 years 5 months ago #20026 by houndy
houndy replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
Brilliant :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 5 months ago #20030 by Brodie
Brodie replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
if there "clean" I'll keep posting them if you want :)

Wigster n San x

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • houndy
  • houndy's Avatar
  • Visitor
  • Visitor
9 years 5 months ago #20035 by houndy
houndy replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
oh yes please :)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 5 months ago #20062 by Bohann
Bohann replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
Brodie that was awesome one!
I haven't laugh this hard for ages! :laugh:

I was supposed to post here a pic of Pyry's profile having ears all upp but cannot see a thing cause my eyes are all wet. :pinch:

R.I.P. IW "Capu" 09.11.2003-31.10.2008 & "Jyräys" 17.07.2007-11.01.2012
Greyhound Koh-I-Nor "Tiuhti" 06/06 / Dullahan "Valo" 10/06
DH Black Jade's Bohann "Pyry" 09/08
IW Fernmark Nightwatch "Pikku-Kalle" 11/11

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 5 months ago #20063 by Brodie
Brodie replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
good - serves you right :laugh: :laugh:

Wigster n San x

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 5 months ago #20072 by Brodie
Brodie replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
"Spectral Hound"
One night after closing time a bar owner was finishing clearing up, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The bar owner is scared, but asks him what he wants.
The phantom hound explains, 'I've lost my tail and cannot rest until a kindly bar owner stitches it back on.'
'Sorry,' said the bar owner, 'but we don't re-tail spirits after closing time.' :laugh:

Wigster n San x

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Trafalgarhills
  • Trafalgarhills's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Graduate Boarder
  • Graduate Boarder
More
9 years 5 months ago #20199 by Trafalgarhills
Trafalgarhills replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
A DUG, A DUG

Hey,daddy, wid yi get us a dug?
A big broon Alsation? Ur a wee white Pug,
Ur a skinny wee terrier ur a big fat bull.
Aw, daddy. Get a dug. Will ye?

N whose dugll it be when it durties the flerr?
and peesn the carpet,and messes the sterr?
Its me ur yur mammyll be taen fur a mug.
Away oot an play. Yur no needin a dug.

Bit, daddy? Thur gien thum away
doon therr at the RSPCA.
Yull get wan fur nothin so ye wull.
Aw daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?

Doon therr at the RSPCA
Dae ye think ahve goat nuthin else tae dae
bit get you a dug that ahll huftae mind?
Yur no needin a dug. Ye urny blind!

Bit, daddy, there rerr fur guardin the hoose
an thur bettern cats fur catchin a moose,
an wee Dannys dug gies is barra a pull.
Aw, hey daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?

Dae ye hear im? Oan aboot dugs again?
Ah hink that yins goat dugsn the brain.
Ah know whit yell get; a skiten the lug
if ah hear any merr aboot this bliddy dug.

Bit daddy, it widnae be dear tae keep
N ahd make it a basket fur it tae sleep
N ahd take it fur runs away orr the hull.
Aw, daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?

Ah dont think thurs ever been emdy like you.
Ye could wheedle the twist oot a flamin coarkscrew.
Noo get doon aff mah neck. Ah dont want a hug.
Awright thats anuff. Ahll get ye a dug.

Aw daddy! A dug! A dug!



by Bill Keys

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 5 months ago #20232 by crackadog
crackadog replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
Love it -haven't seen it before. Sound pretty true to life though. Is Bill a Glaswegian?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • hairybeasty
  • hairybeasty's Avatar Topic Author
  • Visitor
  • Visitor
9 years 4 months ago #20609 by hairybeasty
hairybeasty replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
Women and cats will do as they please...men and dogs should relax and get used to it.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 4 months ago #20745 by Joerg Yoki
Joerg Yoki replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
Hello,

For all Football fans - funny dog tricots.



Link: www.tierisch-tolle-gesche.../cPath/438_1093


Best regards
Joerg and Yoki
Attachments:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 4 months ago #21133 by Joerg Yoki
Joerg Yoki replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
Hello,

This is other, funny tin plate from my collection.





Best regards
Joerg and Yoki
Attachments:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • hairybeasty
  • hairybeasty's Avatar Topic Author
  • Visitor
  • Visitor
9 years 3 months ago #21981 by hairybeasty
hairybeasty replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
St. Peter and Angel Gabriel decided to challenge Lucifer to a god show(sorry..dog show) because they felt all the most beautiful hounds were in heaven, and all the badly behaved and nasty dogs were down in hell and therefore heaven would win the show.
So Gabriel rang up Satan,who said "I accept,but prepare to lose!"
Gabriel asked how this could be.
Satan replied "you have all the best dogs, but I have all the judges".... :P

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 3 months ago #21984 by Ironstone
Ironstone replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour

Ironstone Deerhounds
Attachments:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 3 months ago #21987 by Joerg Yoki
Joerg Yoki replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
hairybeasty wrote:

St. Peter and Angel Gabriel decided to challenge Lucifer to a god show(sorry..dog show) because they felt all the most beautiful hounds were in heaven, and all the badly behaved and nasty dogs were down in hell and therefore heaven would win the show.
So Gabriel rang up Satan,who said "I accept,but prepare to lose!"
Gabriel asked how this could be.
Satan replied "you have all the best dogs, but I have all the judges".... :P

Very good . :laugh: ( except the judges here from the forum :) )

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 3 months ago #21988 by Joerg Yoki
Joerg Yoki replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
Ironstone wrote:

:laugh: :laugh: ...the poor dogs.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 3 months ago #21992 by Brollachan
Brollachan replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 3 months ago #22021 by KimC
KimC replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
There is a wolfhound on the pot here.
Attachments:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
9 years 3 months ago #22022 by KimC
KimC replied the topic: Re:Doggy humour
And a borzoi having a great time here..
Attachments:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: Joerg Yoki
Time to create page: 0.752 seconds
Powered by Kunena Forum